Just who the heck am I?

Journal Prompt 02/08/20

Can you think of a situation – a relationship – a dilemma – (a part of your garden?!) which you have revisited over time, looking upon it with different eyes, seeing and learning from the slightly different viewpoint? Hindsight is a wonderful thing – what comes to mind that you might have repeated, but then thought about and decided to change – big or small?

https://rozcawley.typepad.com/autumn_cottage_diarist/2020/08/a-month-in-the-country-2-we-all-need-a-place-to-sit-look-and-think.html

I have another answer to this prompt elsewhere. That’s where this was originally written but as it is so much a “me” post, I felt that it resided better in this blog instead.

Gosh, that’s a tough prompt to come to unexpectedly. I think that it might need a few days of cogitation but I am starting writing in the hope that something, anything, might pop up and flow from my fingertips.

Let’s start with that “garden” of mine: too little of a garden (see here) and too little of my time spent here yet (just two years, but only off and on) for me to come up with anything interesting or sensible on that topic. I have so much that I could write on regarding situations, relationships and dilemmas (my life has been full of them!) but I am not feeling an urge to share them here or now. Such matters do not belong in this blog, though this prompt may trigger the depositing of some Left Luggage, especially following something that happened today and a subsequent conversation that I had with The Crooked Man over dinner this evening.

On consideration though, I think that perhaps I am more of a one for moving forward than I am for repetitions. I feel quite strongly that I have always been a work in progress and have always tried to seize opportunities, to learn and develop wherever and whenever I can. I have reinvented myself more than once in my lifetime. I bore myself if I stay still, not sure how I could ever actually backtrack.

I think that we might sum it up as my being in a state of perpetual growth. I happily prune the dead wood, toss it on the bonfire, and put out new shoots. I am my own garden 🙂

This is not the truth of course, but simply how I choose to see things. In actual fact I am a knotted mess of weeds, dead wood and thorns but that’s a tale for another day.

The real truth is that both cases above are true. Human Beings are complex creatures, and I am no less so than any other.

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